As you may have heard, my crush of 22 years (we're the same age, it's fine), Prince Henry Charles Albert David has announced his engagement to Meghan Markle. Yes, yes, I'm sure she's a nice person and pretty, but I have had my designs on him for 22 years, so I figured it was appropriate I still go through the five stages of grief as I wonder what might have been:
1. Denial
"I mean, can you really believe anything on the internet anymore? Can't Fake News work in my favor just once?"
2. Anger
"Maybe I dumped him! Did you ever think of that?!?"
3. Bargaining
"Perhaps the marriage only counts in England, and he's still single in the states."
4. Depression
"How do you change the background on you computer again?!?"
5. Acceptance
"Oscar Isaac's still single, right?"
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